Thursday, May 27, 2010

Reinventing Yourself

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It's funny because it seems like my husband and I have been on this journey for quite some time, at the same time but didn't know the other was (I mean we did just get back together in January of this year and married him in March after 14 years apart).

For me it has been a LONG journey through all these dark, ugly places that led me to this clearing filled with light and surrounding me by all the beautiful people who have always been a part of my life and introducing me to ones I had yet to know. I am finally coming in to who I am as a person. For years I put on a show, a front, because I thought that's what people expected of me but I found me and I love being me almost all of the time. Life has it's ups and downs of course and there are things that go on that I don't like but I love my life. I love that I am discovering talents I didn't know I had, that I can embrace my hip hop loving, country living, garden planting, truck driving self and am accepted just as such. It felt so good for my mom to tell me she was proud of me for all that I have done with my life so far.

My husband has been on this journey too. He had a not so good marriage that lasted a little longer than what he needed it to but he is very responsible and mature and is one of those people who don't show that he is falling apart on the inside. Changes came a little quicker for him, though they too still took a few years. He moved away from the town we grew up in because it was such a black hole for him, he embraced who he was really, started finding himself, the old him that everyone loved, including me. Well with change sometimes comes some things we don't expect. I haven't shared this with anyone but I am going to. Almost a month ago we found out that next Friday is my husband's last day at his job. So he has been looking for a new one but decided that he would only focus his search closer to where we live.

We both currently commute over an hour one way, 5 days a week. So of course, like any wife, I begin to panic and we had our little discussion last night and today he got a phone call that we have been waiting for. He has an interview with a company not far from our house with benefits that are better than he has now and the same pay he makes now. I am so excited and thanking God for answering prayers. I told my husband this was his job and I am putting faith in God and claiming that this is his job.

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